What are YOU scared of?

Having spoken with hundreds of people over the years and having helped the vast majority of them to overcome a crippling fear like some of these:

Fear of flying

Fear of public speakingOi you.

Fear of spiders or other type of animals / birds

Fear of balloons (texture and volatility)

Social Anxiety (very common amongst us introverts)

Fear of clowns (thank you Hollywood!)

Fear of Heights (even a few feet up)

Fear of death (yep – it’s a fear that a lot of us carry around…)

it still amazes me that more people don’t take action to control, reduce or even remove these fears.

Perhaps your fear is so much a part of you as a person that you don’t want to let it go?

Perhaps you worry that part of the coaching process would have you exposed to the very thing that gives you fear (apart from the death one – maybe)?

Perhaps you think that you’ll be made to look silly or ridiculed as part of the coaching?

All these thoughts are entirely normal.

At Fearless, I use laughter as well as other techniques to help you take charge of your inner demons. I will NEVER expose you to the things that cause you to panic, run, freeze or break out into a cold sweat. If you CHOOSE to re-experience those things after working with us, that is ENTIRELY YOUR CHOICE and we can be there to hold your hand; except for the death thing – obviously. Oh, and I’m not going to be there with you after helping your claustrophobia – it’s just weird to want to drag yourself through potholes! It’s not a phobia, I just don’t enjoy it. Do I protest too much? Maybe… but I ain’t going back down that hole!

Every single conversation we have is confidential and you don’t have to reveal your innermost thoughts to lose a fear.

If the coaching is unsuccessful, you have a full no-quibble money back guarantee.

So what are you scared of?

resolution

New Year’s Resolutions

So, what did 2017 have in store for you?

Was it your resolution to join the gym, apply for a new job, quit smoking or start a sugar-free diet?

The start of a new year may have seemed like a great opportunity to make changes and embark on something you’d been meaning to do for a while – how did that go for you? January 1st wasn’t a magical day when we had an improved chance of success. In fact, you’re setting a course for failure by choosing a non-specific day in the diary. If we really want to achieve certain goals, why don’t we take action today?

We put things off because of a variety of excuses:

today we’ve got a deadline at work, or

we’re too busy running the children around, or

we’ve already invited someone over for dinner, or

it’s raining, or

our favourite TV show is on.

The problem is that all of these other things will still be happening next month, so we’ll just have one day off, well it’s not a good week, I’ll start next month, might as well make it a resolution for next year.

Learnt Behaviour

No one is born a procrastinator, but over time some people learn to channel their energy into avoidance techniques, excuses and distractions. Their ability to self-motivate has been lost and even when they know that they are procrastinating, they continue to do it.

There are many reasons why people feel unable to take action, maybe one of the suggestions below strikes a chord with you?

As children we may never have been given the freedom to make our own decisions; everything was done for us, so we’ve not learnt how to self-regulate, make decisions or work towards our goals.

We may be overly focused on what others think and have concerns that if we try, we give it our best shot and we don’t succeed, we will be seen as failures. We might believe it is better to be seen as ‘not being bothered’ rather than ‘not having the ability’ to achieve.

Others fear success. Achieving a goal is likely to lead to change, new things could happen, others will have different expectations about us. It might feel preferable to stick with what we know, even if it isn’t fulfilling.

For some the adrenalin rush that they get from the last minute panic is a reason for repeatedly putting things off. We know we are selling ourselves short as we hurry to get something completed in the final hour or minutes, but we are addicted to that buzz.

This buzz can tie into some people’s desire for instant gratification. Working towards our goals, planning, preparing in advance can seem boring. The potential reward is far in the distance and might never be realised, but the moment of excitement offered by a distraction is immediate… ’another game on Candy Crush and then I’ll start work on my CV…I wonder who came up with the idea for this game, I best look that up…’

Another reason can be a lack of goals. If we have no idea about what we would like to achieve, what would make us feel successful or how we would like to live our life, it is understandable that we can’t take the steps towards those aspirations.

Had Enough of Holding Yourself Back?

If you really do want to get fitter and healthier, have had enough of your current job, would love to fulfil an ambition, we can help you to develop a new mind-set. With our help it will be possible to start a resolution on any day of the year and make it work.

So, next time you are looking for something to do to avoid the important job, contact us; it could be the most valuable distraction you’ve ever spent time on!

sad

Alone or Lonely?

The festive season is an escape from reality.

Do you openly welcome the chance for some peace and quiet after the excitement, activity and chaos of the Christmas holidays or are you left feeling flat and depressed when things return to normal?

The festive season is an escape from reality. We give ourselves permission to spend more on gifts and food, we make the effort to get dressed up and socialise and we might even get a bit of time off work. For a short while we can gloss over reality with sparkly decorations or sparkly wine.

Come January we have returned to the usual routine. Some welcome a return to normal after a break, whilst others dread it. If you already feel lonely and depressed, a bumper credit card bill falling through the letterbox on a cold, dark January day, can make things seem worse than ever.

The Spiral

When we feel lonely and depressed we actively avoid all the things that have been proven to improve the situation. The last thing we want to do is be around other people, to head outside, to get physically active, it all seems like too much effort.

Instead we curl up on our own, with our pessimistic thoughts for company. We image everyone else out there fulfilling their New Year’s resolutions, advancing their careers, finding the perfect partner and living life to the full. In reality everyone is fighting their own battles, but that isn’t how it looks.

Tackling Depression

Life can deal us many blows including unexpected set-backs, chronic illness, the loss of our nearest and dearest or financial insecurity. Each of us responds to such events differently and for some they can become the trigger for depression. Having said this, these events aren’t the cause of depression, so it’s better to focus on positive changes rather than the reason we’ve become depressed.

If we blame a particular event or person for how we feel, we are unable to change that trigger, so we can remain in a dark, lonely place. If we recognise that we can find ways to think differently, to challenge our perceptions and to see things from an alternative perspective, we become empowered to break the spiral. With support, we can lessen the impact of what’s happened and feel better able to deal with what life has in store.

It may seem that nothing can be done, that things will always be like this, that somehow you deserve to be lonely, but things can change. If you can motivate yourself to just do one thing today, get in touch. We have the tools to help you make the small changes that can have a big impact on how you live your life.